happy hysterectomy

Exactly 10 weeks post op

2006-11-14T11:27:00.000-08:00

I had my post op follow up appointment with a consulatant yesterday. My fibroid mass was 1.34 kg ie 3lb ( weight of a COOP small chicken), and thankfully was free of cancer and so were my ovaries.

The bruised nerve probably came from the operating table. If it has not healed by 6 months time, I will need to see a physiotherapist but the doctor did not think this would prove necessary. I have found a slight improvement - don't take painkillers every night now.

Extreme caution is advised on playing the tenor horn as I could split the abdominal sheath, a layer of cartilage which had to be cut to remove the womb. This takes 4 to 6 months to heal. So I now realize something that I have not found by reading, that there is a second phase to the healing - a phase in which I need to strengthen the muscles but not strain them. So I am playing for 5 minutes a day, not high and not loud. In the New Year after 4 months I will begin to extend my range. I am really disappointed as I thought I could go back to where I left off after 6 weeks, but it is not worth taking risks and at least I will be able to get back to it eventually.

The gap where my womb was will gradually be filled by my bowels!

I have been buying big packs of fresh orange etc and overstretching what I should carry. I should build up to 15 lbs gradually and avoid straining my muscles as the bottom line. A colleague who had a split sheath as a result of pregnancy is going to show me some exercises. Pelvie floor exercises are a daily regime too.

The consultant said I would not get any serious menopausal symptons now. This big worry has proved unfounded. I drink decaffeinated tea and coffee - maybe that has protected me from serious hot flushes ? just a thought.

Week 9 starts Sat Oct 5

2006-11-09T12:58:00.000-08:00

Reviewing the last week, I soon adjusted back to work and planned to stay at home evenings. I work 3 days spread over 4 as the travelling is over an hour each way by train and foot. I was tired by the end of my week, but mainly because of the nerve pain which kept me awake and woke me early.

The vaginal disharge stopped on the Monday. It had started 2 weeks 6 days after my operation.

I understand I can lift up to 15 pounds for the next few months, then after 6 months up to 30 pounds and never more than that, if I want to avoid prolapses. I am building up my swimming gradually- 20 lengths then 24 the next week and also the horn now up to 7 minutes. I need to do the same with the lifting - gradually build up the amount to 15 pounds.

I thought I would be keeping up this blog to relate how I adjust to the surgical menopause, but so far no adjustment has been needed as emotionally I have remained on an even keel and perhaps once or twice a day feel a warmness - but nothing much.

Pelvic floor exercises are on the menu now regularly and I think the stress incontinence has improved, butI have not dared to go without pads yet. It is lovely being half a stone lighter.

Week 8 starts 28 Oct 2006

2006-10-29T13:20:00.000-08:00

Back to work at last. I went to work on Wednesday after exactly 7 weeks at home. For the first 6 weeks I had been perfectly content at home, concentrating on getting better but I was ready to return after that and get hold of the big picture again, rather than being the centre of my own universe! I was out of the house from 7.15 to 16.15 on Wed and Thurs and Thurs I had to go for a rest and watched telly all evening. Next week I will be doing my four days and intend to stay at home in the evening. I imagine it will be at least 10 weeks post op before I am fully operational.

On Friday Oct 27 I had my last visit to the health clinic about my wound. The granulation had subsided and a scab had begun to form. I can go swimming again in a week's time. Yippee!

So the only thing to get back now is my tenor horn playing and the brass band. What a pity I will miss playing in Brassed Off. I thought once my insides had healed that I would be able to pick up the horn where I had left off, but no. I wouldn't dare tackle the higher notes which put great pressure on abdominal muscles. I have started doing 5 minutes a day with easy pieces. The hysterectomy forum is so helpful. I asked if I was being too cautious, and 2 singers replied (one from Minneapolis - I am from West Yorkshire) advising me that cautious equals sensible.

Week 7 starts Sat Oct 21

2006-10-24T03:31:00.000-07:00

How much is now back to normal? I did my first drive on Saturday Oct 21st 6 and a half weeks after my op. It was no problem at all. I had contacted the insurance company as the hospital advised, to check on their cover and asked them to put it in writing. Their reply said they would give me permission based on the doctor's agreement. So I had to pay £10 for this. The doctor did say that the 6 week rule is historical and gave the impression that people drive when they feel fit enough. This does not feel secure enough to me and I am glad I have something in writing.

My insides now feel normal, but despite losing half a stone my stomach is now bigger than before when it harboured fibroids the size of a 5 month foetus. I can now wear my support tights if I cut the welt down as far as I dare. I still have a very slight discharge. I have been asked to keep my wound dry for a few days so that the bit of foam put there to apply pressure to deal with the granulation can work. Paracetamol at bedtime are still needed for tne nerve or muscle pain in my right buttock. During the day my awareness of it varies and no medication is needed.

Returning to work after 6 weeks would have been too early, but another week and I will be ready. What a surprisingly positive experience this has been. A chance to catch up with friends and family, regain my piano skills, knit a toilet roll holder dolly etc. There are just 2 things remaining to win back. More next week!

Week 6 starts Oct 14

2006-10-18T08:41:00.000-07:00

This is a review of week 5. Progress can be judged by the fact that I was away at a conference in Newcastle and staying with my husband's mum. I didn't drive though. Have you noticed that whenever you mention to someone elderly that you are recovering from a hysterectomy the person frowns, looks concerned and says "You be careful. Don't be doing too much." Immediately you feel guilty and cast your mind back to when you picked a pencil from the floor, picked up something weighing a kilogram etc. Historically, years ago you would have spent 10 days in hospital. It was not unusual to have 2 weeks in a convalescent home following that. Modern husbands have superseded the need for that as they are able to take over running the household.

I must be really famous - my seventh bouquet arrived last week. The givers did confess that they had been given them and decided to pass them on to me, but it is definitely the thought that counts.

Medication. Lactulose is taken sparingly at one dose every 2 or three days when necessary. 2 Paracetamol are needed at bedtime to deal with the nerve/muscle pain in my right thigh. I hope that walking will be helping this and I have been doing 20 to 30 minutes twice a day. My back itself is much less stiff. My wound has been overactive and produced too much new tissue, which should sort itself out. I thought 20 dressings would be far too much but just the right amount I estimate now.

Doctor. She agreed that I could go back to work at the beginning of my 8th week after my operation. I realized that a week earlier would mean pushing myself too much to be ready.

Week 5 begins Sat 7 Oct

2006-10-07T06:31:00.000-07:00

Regard your recovery time as a gift - a time to pamper yourself, listen to your body and think about YOU. There is no virtue in pushing yourself and the more you rest the sooner you will recover. This permission to be absolutely lazy comes from the Hysterectomy Association and is superb advice.

Where am I now on the recovery journey? I still have a little vaginal discharge. My wound is not completely healed so I change the dressing every day and visit the nurse weekly, but it is not infected and progress is there albeit in slow motion. Yesterday I had no back ache or internal discomfort and lifted a toddler on to my knee as I had completely forgotten the operation. No damage done fortunately.

The pain in my relapse subsided with rest by last Tuesday, but I have taken a couple of painkillers at night as I have been uncomfortable. How I envy my husband who can turn over in bed easily without it being a major upheaval.

Will I be back to work after 6 weeks? My relapse taught me that I need to keep an open mind. I would need to be able to sit up for 6 hours. I cannot imagine that this would be back ache free.

I need suitable clothes. Though I have lost half a stone my stomach is swollen and cannot bear any tight fitting trousers. I have tried my clothes and found some which will do.

I am building up the walking now to twice 25 minutes (as a guideline) and walking up stairs normally. There a 3 flights of stairs at work and no lift. This week I am seeing the doctor to discuss going back. I wonder if 8 weeks is more realistic?

Week 4 begins Sat Sep 30

2006-10-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

It is really helpful to have a good getting out of bed and off the sofa technique. I wish I had perfected mine from the start.

Pull your knees up so your heels are against your bottom, and turn over on your side at the edge of the bed. Slowly move your knees and legs over the side so they act as a counterweight as you push up with your arms as you sit up.

To sit up in bed, pull your heels under your bottom and push hard into the mattress with your feet and hands. ( See page 27 of 101 Handy Hints for a Happy Hysterectomy).

All my flowers have died at the same time, a sign that it is time to move on and begin to think towards going back to work. However, I have a set back today - a pain in my lower right abdomen. It feels as if I have pulled something, yet I haven't knowingly done so. Could it be bending down,albeit with knees bent, to pick up a coin, or coming down stairs in the normal way too quickly, or putting the empty wheelie bin back in its place, or trying to wear my support tights or a combination of all these things? I have decided to consolidate rather than try to move forward until it settles down, and cut out bending etc. Hopefully on Monday I will be able to progress again and increase my walking.

On the positive side, the nerve in my right leg is much better.

The 3rd week starts after coming home

2006-09-26T10:32:00.003-07:00

Here are some do's and don'ts from my experience of the first 2 weeks at home:

1. Do let your body be in charge

2. If it pulls don't do it.

3. Do sleep as much as you want to

4. Do avoid Peter Kay if he makes you laugh uncontrollably. As with sneezing and coughing, hugging a cushion helps as a sort of tourniquet.

5. Do eat little and often and stop when you are full.

6. Do avoid constipation and therefore straining. Lactulose is A GOOD THING.

7. Do work out a routine which does not let your mood drop. In short 10 minutes bursts I did some knitting (light item),computing, playing piano etc but still spent more time lying down than sitting up.

8 Do get a sick note on discharge of hospital. I forgot and am having to chase one up via the doctor.

9. Do invest in some big, comfortable pants.

10. Do 10 minutes walking from the beginning of week 2.

I will now write this up weekly. The next one will be Sat Sep 30.

Friday

2006-09-26T10:32:00.002-07:00

I had felt a lot of discomfort yesterday front and back but today felt so much better. My body felt as though it had made a big step towards normality overnight. I really enjoyed my 10 minutes walk. My appetite is still small and I can't face much that is acidic - tomatoes, oranges and apples in small doses only.

I get up and potter upstairs getting washed and going on the computer and go and lie down for Woman's Hour. It is vital to get up then or my mood would drop considerably. The wound is still draining and so has not started to heal yet. Today a vaginal disharge started, but that is normal and I had expected it sooner.

3 visitors in the evening. I am overwhelmed by the caring concern of friends and family.

Fish knives

2006-09-26T10:32:00.000-07:00

Backache is a problem now I have stopped the painkillers. There seems to be a nerve or muscle near my right kidney area that is not quite in place. A close friend brought me fish knives as a get well present from a bazaar. I was touched that she had remembered that I mentioned that I had none. Cookie, our hamster escaped and surprised us by going up the stairs and appearing in our bedroom. At bedtime I took 2 Paracetamol for my back and had a superb night's sleep.

2 weeks after the operation

2006-09-20T10:00:00.000-07:00

So how am I now 2 weeks have elapsed since the operation?

I reduced my pain killers to nil yesterday. This left me with an uncomfortable backache which surprised me. Had it been masked or have I been sitting up too long at one go? I think the former and need 2 paracetamol and a dichlofles at bedtime to be comfortable to sleep.

My wound for the most part has healed well and knit together. There is a small area which seems to have reulted from a little pool of fluid which collected under the skin and has been draining. It is not affected and the district nurses are calling every day to keep an eye on it. Yesterday I opened the door to a 6 foot male nurse.

I walk 10 minutes a day. I have stopped needing to sleep during the day. or at least I would not sleepwell at night if I did.

I can potter in the kitchen with the golden rule: "If it pulls don't"

So far I have had no hot flushes, violent mood swings or memory loss episodes. I understand it may take about 5 weeks for my hormone store to be completely depleted.

So far so good. I did conversation talk about this "holiday" rather than convalescence which is a healthy indication of my mood!

I lost half a stone in hopital, including the weight of my fibroids. My appetite is very small and I intend to eat healthily, but keep off those things which would put on weight unnecessarily.

Monday again

2006-09-18T09:30:00.000-07:00

John is looking after me this week, which is a chance for him to relax a bit. The nurse sent a swab of my wound to the lab to see if I need antibiotics. It is still draining but does not seem infected. A pretty normal day but after re-planning the garden with John my brain has had enough and I go for a sleep late afternoon. Now my blog is up to date I am going to get some piano music out as I think I could play for 15 minutes or so at a time. Also I want to transpose some horn musice for my son. I sat up to ring my mum for about 25 minutes and my back really hurt after that.

A birthday to celebrate

2006-09-17T04:48:00.000-07:00

The daily routine is roughly as follows:

Tea and toast about 7.15. Then get up and washed, get blog up to date and return to bed for Woman's Hour or the Heaven and Earth show as it is Sunday. My mid morning snack is Allbran, fruit and yoghurt as I desperately want to avoid the Lactulose.

Morning walk of 10 minutes before lunch. I am walking in the direction of Jackson's so by week 4 I should be there, albeit unable to carry anything!

Afternoon a bit foggy as yet, but leads to computer and further rest in bed with book or radio as a sleep inducer.

Evenings I potter in the kitchen after tea moving things into place which I can. My rule is "If it pulls, don't" I do like company and conversation as I lie on the settee and we watch the TV for an hour or so.

Surprisingly I am ready for sleep again at about 10.30.

My husband prepard for my son's 16th birthday celebration today admirably. 4 boys went bowling then came back for pizza. Not only did John drive them there but he was in charge of tea as well. (Editor's note - this illustrates a point : the poor husband has all the toil and work for two whilst the sufferer gets all the sympathy and attention. Wellwishers take note. Why not consider sending a bottle of wine for the husband? ) The chocolate birthday cake dripping rolos came to us in an unusual way. Martin went to grandma's by train and then was returning to London by train. John intercepted the train at Wakefield to collect the cake and lots of baking.

Midsomer Murders was on at just the right time for us both to end a very good day.

My second week at home begins

2006-09-16T04:06:00.000-07:00

The nurse inspected the wound which did not seem infected and I agreed with her caution to hold off antibiotics. My book "101 Hints for a Happy Hysterectomy arrived" so I spent a lot of the day swallowing it. (I had finished Claire Rayner's surprisingly interesting autobiography the day before). The table at the back on how to make progress each week is invaluable and has a few surprises. Stairs are built up gradually and this week I should go up 2-3 times daily. I had been using them indiscriminately as I had found no pulling or pressure using my technique of 1 foot then the other onto the same step. Yet I am encouraged to do 10 minutes walking, which is a little painful and pulls. Have at least 2 hours rest. I have more than this to balance the sitting up. After a 20 minutes sit up on this blog I am ready for an hour's lie down or read in bed or on the settee. The latter is usually cluttered, and highlights an important point. The sufferer is much less of a nag and infinitely more cheerful if everything is in its place and definitely not on the floor, as this emphasizes her incapacity.

Friday

2006-09-15T02:01:00.000-07:00

The nurse came to remove the rest of the staples. The lower area was rather red and weepy, so it seems rather a delicate balancing act to get them out not too early or too late.

Martin set up this blog for me. Exciting! A visitor vame and we enjoyed tea in the garden and the cake she had brought. My son cooked a brilliant tea of rainbow trout with a cucumber and dill sauce. It is not often all 3 children are here. At bedtime I found my wound had wept through the dressing.

Thursday

2006-09-14T01:56:00.000-07:00

E-mail day. The district nurse had rung to say she would leave the rest of my staples for another day. I had breakfast at 6.30 so I could call on my husband to wash my hair if necessary, which proved the case. From about 11am I caught up on my e-mails with lying down breaks in between. I also sent thankyou e-mails for the flowers including photos. At the end I was in pain. I had taken 1 dichloflex and Paracetamol at breakfast, forgot the 2pm slot, and so at 5.30 took a paracetamol which did not obliterate the pain so at 8.30 I took my bedtime dose . I was surprised that missing the dose had made so much difference, or had I been sitting up too long? (" 101 hints for a Happy Hysterectomy " advises against sitting for long. I had not realised this was important, but had experienced the backache resulting from it). We watched Peter Kay live from Bolton. As with sneezing and coughing, laughing is a problem, but the district nurse gave me the tip of hugging a cushion as a sort of tourniquet. Despite very little sleep in the day it took a while to get to sleep and I woke early.

staple removing day

2006-09-13T10:14:00.000-07:00

Wednesday was bouquet day. A posy arrived from mum, via teleflorists 5 miles away. They had to return that afternoon with a huge bouquet from church. Then the local florist drew up with a superb bouquet from the Eating Disorders committee I sit on. I felt overwhelmed and so special!

It was also staple removing day, which proved a little set back. There were 15 staples. The wound began to gape as they were removed, so the district nursewent on to remove alternate ones only and put 3 steristrips to close the wound.

"You must keep them dry." A new challenge to the washing procedure!

A very busy day with the weekly cleaning lady, fruit man, fencing man . Martin and I called on neighbours for an egg so he could finish a cake. I was also pleased to see a work colleague from up the street. In the evening Martin helped me with the Eating Disorders website.

Tuesday

2006-09-12T10:14:00.000-07:00

Martin is in charge today of picking up things off the floor for me . I was amazingly sleepy today. I got up at 9.30 and pottered with Martin but came to bed at 11am and slept for a couple of hours with the radio on and found it hard to wake up. Again I came to bed late afternoon and slept from 4pm to 5.30pm and still slept at night. It was nice to have company in the evening as we all watched a programme about 9/11.

Monday

2006-09-11T10:00:00.000-07:00

I am aiming to sort out a routine to help sufferer and carer. I had a good night's sleep so there is no need to move to the spare bedroom. For pain I tried 1 paracetamol and 1 dichloflex at 8.00 then 2.00 but found that ny 7.15 the pain inside need a paracetamol. At bedtime I took 2 and the dichloflex. Tea and toas was to have been followed by Allbran at 10am but the hamster had climbed into the packet and chewed it when she escaped. I seem to need an hour up and then an hour down, Duke of York style. We watched "Dodge City" in the afternoon , a western but with Errol Flynn.

Sunday

2006-09-10T10:00:00.000-07:00

I was now in charge of my own pain control. As I felt so much nausea I cut out the Paracetamol and had 1 Dicloflex 3 times a day and the usual Tamoxifen. Now the shower challenge. I put in the bath mat and got my daughter to start the shower. Refreshing and luxurious. I returned to bed then had a small lunch downstairs. Stairs are no problem if I put 1 foot on the step and the next foot on the same step each time to avoid any pulling of my stitches. I came back to bed feeling very tired and light headed. Coffee was served on the lawn, but my first attempt to get out of bed put spots in front of my eyes. I also decided to take 2 paracetamol. After tea I had a tight schedule to fit in 3 constructive activities before Midsomer murders. I made 3 phone calls and wrote a letter requiring a cheque and felt really pleased with my achievement. I went to sleep during the drama.

going home

2006-09-09T08:00:00.000-07:00

What a night! A couple of hours sleep at the most. About 11pm a patient was admitted. Her escort had a mobile phone with a raucous ringing tone. The poor patient was coughing a lot and retching. Remember earplugs next time. The night was further punctuated with the throbbing generator, men shouting to each other outside at 5.15am and the poorly lady being taken by surprise by diorrhoea. She had an unusual high pitched, breathy loud voice. Next to her was and extremely quiet Moslem lady who kept on her black headgear. As I got up for breakfast I was pleasantly surprised to find I could stand up straight, felt quite myself and the ""windiness" from yesterday had disappeared. After breakfast I had a successful shower without help.The ward was much quieter than at night as everyone slept. My challenge was to produce enough urine to prove that my waterworks were in good enough order for me to go home. But did I also need to pass the bowels test? In the event lactulose ( the most viscous vile sugary liquid I have ever had to imbibe) proved my friend and this was not an issue.

The afternoon was taken up in my role of entertaining my neighbour's deaf visitor. As she had female visitore he was discreetly keeping in the background, and entertained me with reminiscences. It was rather one way traffic as it hurt my stitches if I raised my voice so he could hear. I also felt pretty sick as a result of swallowing so many tablets so often. (The biggest challenge had been swallowing 3 with the amount of water in the pill pot, rather than a tumbler when I was about to be anaesthetised). Across the room, the Moslem lady had a huge entourage - mother , sister and husband + 3 primary age children who simply sat in silence and looked at the patient.

Finally at 4.40 the doctor pronounced me well enough to go home. So armed with painkillers and lactulose I went, knowing that the district nurse would come on Wednesday to remove my literal staples . I was extremely aware of the speed bumps the car went over. It had been a fascinating few days but what a relief to be home.

mobile today

2006-09-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

Mobile today! I went down to the meals room carrying my catheter, but felt faint and so made a speedy return. A doctor prescribed Lactulose for my bowels. My surgeon came again. At lunchtime I sat up for the whole meal and felt able to tackle a bath. Two nurses accompanied me to operate the mechanical chair, an amazing contraption which would mean no straining when I got out. I joked with the sister that the bath had given me a new lease of life and I was about to run dowm the corridor! My visitors disgraced themselves by not putting back their chairs. At night, the nurse deflated the balloon holding in my catheter. If my waterworks are OK I can go home tomorrow. How strange I had a phone call from my son in London and my sister in Thailand within 5 minutes of each other. How strange too it is deemed OK for me to carry round 1000ml in my catheter. Blood was taken this morning. My count was 12.7 when I came in and 10.7 after the operation which is good. I was concerned that I still had 2 needles in my left arm. They were removed at tea time. One site was red which bothered me.

the day after

2006-09-07T08:30:00.000-07:00

I was advised not to eat until the doctor had checked that my bowels were gurgling normally. Unfortunatley the message that I should drink did not get to me and may have contributed to my falling blood pressure. I had 3 bags of liquid from the drip.

"Are you coming down to the room for tea?" a nurse asked my deaf bed neighbour.

"I'd rather have coffee than tea."

"No are you having something to eat?"

"What did you say was for sweet?"

The whole room tuned into the conversation I had with her about holidays. Her 86 year old visitor was also deaf so there was lots of repetition going on with voices raised.

For pain control I had more suppositories at lunch time, but turned to tablet form from tea time. My catheter was to remain until tomorrow and I could only potter round my bed and sit in the chair. Shuffling up the bed was painful, but the nurses assured me that I would not damage my inside. The surgeon came again - so petite and pretty to be doing a butcher type of job.

the day

2006-09-06T08:30:00.000-07:00

My big day. A Shakespeare quote brings comfort:

"Come what may, time and the hour pass through the longest day." Fasting starts after breakfast. From a magazine I write down a recipe for 'Mediterranean Baked Cod'. I had been collecting recipes from my several hospital visits to send to my son e.g. Mushroom pasta - Pinderfields hospital.

Then an unexpected visit from the surgeon before my operation. She reassured me that it was the right decision to have ovaries removed as I am at high risk of ovarian cancer as I have had breast cancer.

"But I won't be able to take HRT" (again because of breast cancer.) The lady surgeon says she will refer me to the menopause clinic. This was the first I knew of its existence and I was so relieved to find that I would not be left on my own to weather the storm to come.

At 2:50 pm the theatre nurse came for me earlier than expected, so I changed into my gown. I'm glad I forget to take off my glasses as I walked down to the operating theatre and was able to have a good look round as I climbed onto the hard metal, narrow bed (as in a vet's surgery on TV).
I had already taken Paracetemol and dicloflex(Voltarol) prescribed by the anaesthetist to cover the pain as the anaesthetic wore off. The pain control was superb. Never was I in great pain. The operation took about 2 hours as my fibroids were large , weighing a kilogram altogether.

Following it I was in a morphine heaven, a different world. I could hear my husband in the distance but could not connect. I also felt I would be sick if I moved or talked. For every twinge of pain I pressed the button. Confused and trigger happy! I gave myself a lot of morphine in a short time, unwittingly increasing my nausea. The nightnurse wisely took me off the morphine, administerd an anti sickness drug and some painkilling suppositeries. Every 2 hours she monitored my blood pressure and temperature. I also tasted manna = little sponges on sticks to moisten my lips and lemon and glycerol swabs.

2006-09-05T07:30:00.000-07:00

Too late to change anything. The relentless wheels are in motion. I wake resigned to my unhappy lot. My train companions on the way to work cheer me up and we laugh about the "power surges" I will experience (euphemism for hot flushes). Encouraged too by prayeful support from work I begin to rise above my fate. I will make this a positive experience, I will conquer all the gremlins it throws up and I will write itdown to educate andencourage others.

A rather big hiccough when I rang at lunchtime to confirm that a bed is available.

"Sorry, there is a beds crisis. We will ring you before 8pm, otherwise you ring at 8am tomorrow." At 7.15 pm my summons came, inspiring me to pack at last. I am put in a ward of 6 people. Only one is a hysterectomy. One dislocated shoulder, one stomach problems, 1 bladder problems. The NHS from the inside. Medical emergencies taking up surgical beds meaning that 3 operations have to be postponed.

two days before

2006-09-04T20:30:00.000-07:00

Two days before my operation I began to get cold feet. Had I made the right decision to have my ovaries removed? I spent a gloomy evening on the Internet, wondering why I had not read round the subject and questioned whether a hysteretcomy was necessary. It is such a barbaric invasive procedure which changes life forever. But new tecniques are being developed suchas embolisation which cuts off the blood supply to the fibroids so that they shrink. In 10 years' time I reckon this will be more common than hysterectomy if women fight for it. Why hadn't I done my research and joined the 1000 women in Britiain who have asked for this?

Then the question of HRT. But is it a question? Universal assumption seems to be that everyone has it, particularly is ovaries have been removed. But what about me? What remedy can I take? What is certain is that on September 6 I will be thrust suddenly into the menopause, that ugly word which conjures up bright red sweaty women struggling in vain to recall someone's name. Negative, negative, negative. But here's an antitode on Amazon, "Have a happy hysterectomy. We'll order that and the "Funny Faces" one. Laughter is the medecine I need to dispel the gloom and doom of what awaits. The hysteretcomy, gruelling in itself, is the evil start of the worst period in a woman's life - ironically marked by the absence of periods.! No wonder I am reluctant to pack my hospital bag, which signifies assent, acquiescence and defeat.

getting closer

2006-06-22T11:00:00.000-07:00

My daughter came on this visit to the consultant. He advised the removal of ovaries as I was at high risk of ovarian cancer following my breast lumpectomy in 2002. I needed a full hysterectomy to remove the mass of fibroids. I concurred with his advice reasoning that as I was surely due to move into the menopause at my age of 54 my production of oestrogen would stop. He corrected me saying that whilst ever we have our ovaries we do produce some .

"Am I right that I will be unable to take HRT due to my previous breast cancer ?"

He confirmed this as it could stimulate any residual cancer cells, but added that natural and homeopathic remedies do seem to work. He did emphasize that the choice is mine as the ovaries are mine. Now my mum at the same age had my problem and was rushed into hosital when her waterworks failed completely because of the pressure from the fibroids. She consented to the removal of ovaries without having had chance to look into the consequences. For several years she felt completely "flat." So what is my choice?Possibly live longer by reducing my risk of cancer, but with the loss of ovaries face a lower quality of life with reduction of libido and joie de vivre.

I again came to the same conclusion that as I was going to experience the effects of reduced oestrogen as I manoeuvred my way through the menopause, I would keep things simple and take the consultant's advice.

"When would you like your operation?" He did feel that it needed to be done as soon as possible.

" If I had it at the beginning of August would I be well enought to go to Bruges for the bank holiday weekend. "

"No " was the clear reply. So I opted for the beginning of September.

the next step

2006-05-26T11:00:00.000-07:00

My husband came with me to see the gynaecological consulant to whom I had now been referred. I thought my fate would be outlined to me based on the CT scan. But no, the consultant wanted an MR scan ( the tunnel one) to be sure whether the mass was ovarian or uterine.

the beginning of the journey

2006-04-24T11:00:00.000-07:00

To make my annual visit to the radiotherapy doctor seem worthwhile, I conjured up 3 questions. One was:

"Could you feel my stomach, it seems a bit hard at times, and lopsided."

The reaction as the doctor carried out this request startled me:

"How long have you had this? There is a large pelvic mass here."

Procedures were put into motion - immediate blood test, CT scan appointment made, return in a fortnight for the results.

Two weeks later the good news was that the blood tests were clear, a good indication that cancer was not implicated. The CT scan ( the one with all the orange juice) revealed however a mass 15cm by 15cm. I pulled out a tape measure I happened to have with me as I was en route to buy a kitchen drainer, and was aghast. 15 cm is 6 inches. How could something that big lie so hidden? I had only been able to detect a lopsided lump when lying completely flat in bed or in the bath. Why no symptons? Or could stress incontinence be linked? I waddled out of the consultation room feeling 9 months pregnant. I learnt later that my lump equated to a 5 month foetus in fact. From then on I sat down for my weekly tenor horn lesson to cope with the cannon ball I was harbouring. Yet prior to my discovery I had happily stood, unaware of the enemy within.